Dating, Friendships, Relationships & Advice

Overview

Many people find dating and making friends difficult whatever their background and whether they have a disability or not. Whether that’s through lack of confidence, anxiety or social barriers, it can leave people feeling socially isolated.

There are a number of different ways to meet people and what suits one individual might not suit another. Some people prefer to go out to a social event while others may prefer to have initial contact using an online dating website. Although it can feel quite nerve wracking, sometimes it’s just a case of giving something a go.

Social groups

We’ve put together some organisations in Scotland that run social groups where disabled people can meet and form friendships and relationships.

Dates-n-mates

Scotland’s national dating and friendship agency, which is run by and for adults with learning disabilities.

Groups are currently running in Glasgow, Renfrewshire, Aberdeen and Falkirk. They organise several social events every month which include ten pin bowling, meals out, theatre trips and quiz nights. They also organise dating events including speed dating and mix and mingle nights.  Non-members can come along to their larger events which include a Valentines Party, Halloween Party, Christmas Party and a “We’ve Got Talent” Night.

Dates-n-mates run a club night called LATE which is Scotland’s first inclusive club night. The LATE events are open to all but especially welcoming to people with learning disabilities and runs 3 to 4 times per year.

get2gether

Get2gether believe that everyone has the right to love and friendship. They also believe that people meeting each other shouldn’t be difficult or complicated. They arrange social activities for people with disabilities in safe and friendly places in Edinburgh and the Lothians. Their members tell them what they’re interested in – and that’s what they do. From Wiff Waff ping pong tournaments, to the panto, speed dating, dancing and meals out, and much more.
Membership of get2gether is completely free.

To register you can either fill in the online membership form, or call 07867 179023. 

Gig Buddies Scotland

Support people with a learning disability to get out to more gigs and enjoy the social live they choose. They link people with a learning disability who have a love for live events, with a volunteer that shares the same interests as them. These ‘Gig Buddies’ then attend whatever events they want, when they want and share their passion together. For more information on Gig Buddies you can visit their Gig Buddies Scotland Facebook page, by email at gigbuddies@thera.co.uk or telephone 07738 486001.

ENABLE Scotland

Run a number of social groups and activities for people who have learning disabilities. They have a network of contacts including local groups which can help to put people in touch with others who have similar interests. To find out about discos and nights out in your area contact your local branch.
ENABLE Scotland also run a network of ACE groups in Scotland to challenge barriers to an equal society for every person who has a learning disability. These groups connect people who have learning disabilities to have a local and national voice. You can contact ENABLE Direct on 0300 0200 101 or email enabledirect@enable.org.uk for more information or to find your local group.

Local disability information services

Local disability information service offer a range of services including information, advice and knowledge of local services. Some services also provide a range of social activities themselves, or will be able to tell you about other local groups that are running. For example, Disability Shetland run Adults’ Clubs which provide a range of sports activities including ball sports, racquet sports, boccia and bowls as well as a selection of table-top games and swimming. Activities can be competitive or just relaxing. The club is suitable for individuals of any ability level.

Another local group is the Friends Unlimited Network (FUN) which is for people who have learning disabilities who want to meet new people and develop lasting relationships. The group is run by Perth & Kinross Council. Activities include discos, meals out, beauty nights, pub quiz, bowling, bingo, cinema, sports activities, local night clubs and many others. Membership is free and  members can meet up in a group or one to one, with support, if needed. You can email  FUN@pkc.gov.uk or telephone 01738 472340 or call Marie on 0774 777 5173 for more information.

To find out contact details for your local disability information services, please contact our helpline on 0300 323 9961.

Dating websites

There are a growing number of mainstream online dating websites as well as a number that cater specifically for people with disabilities. You can usually register for free but there are costs to upgrade your membership. We’ve listed some websites but there are others as well.

Enable Dating

When becoming a member of Enable Dating, you have three types of membership to choose from. These range from ‘Free’, to ‘Gold’ and finally ‘VIP’. Each one gives specific features and the upper two tiers add more benefits to help you make the best of your online dating. The free membership is a good starting point, allowing you to get into online dating without any upfront cost or commitments.

Disability Matches

Specialist disabled dating agency to help people meet single adult men and women, all within a friendly vibrant disabled community. Initial registration is free. Online chat available and webcam available.

Disabled Dates 4 U

Registration is free. You can browse other member’s profiles. Webcam and online chat available.

Relationships and sexual health advice

In the UK, the age of consent for any form of sexual activity is 16, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. There are a number of organisations that provide relationship and sexual health advice for disabled people.

Enhance UK is an organisation that aims to challenge perceptions and attitudes about disability. They run a number of campaigns and services for disabled people including The Love Lounge which offers free online advice on sex, love and disability. To contact The Love Lounge you can email hello@enhancetheuk.org
If you feel alone and need to talk to someone you can make an enquiry by filling in the online website form or you can email info@enhancetheuk.org

Enhance UK also run the Undressing Disability campaign which aims to raise standards in sexual health and sexual awareness for disabled people. Through a lack of understanding, education and  lack of services, disabled people frequently cannot access the support that would make it possible for them to make choices about their lifestyles. Their campaign focuses on raising standards in key areas:

• Inclusive sex and relationship education
• Meeting the sexual needs of people with disabilities in Residential Care
• Professionals working with disabled people to consider sexual needs as part of their practice.

Mencap have an online advice section on sex and relationships for people with learning disabilities. They believe that education is really important when supporting people and to enable them to have a better sexual knowledge, better sexual health, and reduced vulnerability to sexual abuse.

Change have produced a series of easy-read booklets on sex and relationships designed to teach people with a learning disability about these topics. These books can be purchased from their online shop.

Scope also has a useful webpage on Dating and Sex for disabled people which contains useful guidance.

Befriending

Loneliness can affect everyone, and disabled people can be particularly at risk. One way to reduce isolation is to take part in a befriending project.

Befriending involves meeting regularly with a trained volunteer, who’ll provide company and a chat. They can offer social support and make you aware of other local opportunities. Some befrienders’ will meet you in person, some will chat over the phone. Befriending schemes are set up by charities and other organisations looking to help certain groups of vulnerable people. Many schemes cater for the elderly, and those with disabilities or mental health problems. You can use the Befriending Networks Directory, to find a befriending scheme near you or if you need help, call our helpline on 0300 323 9961.